


Say my Name

by 1MissMolly



Category: James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-20
Updated: 2017-07-27
Packaged: 2018-12-04 17:23:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11559879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1MissMolly/pseuds/1MissMolly
Summary: Bond has been missing for a year having left MI6 with Madeline Swann. Q is tired and ready to quit MI6 too, then he comes home and finds someone waiting for him in his flat.A short story about miscommunication and the regrets of not speaking up. Guess I shouldn't write when I'm depressed.





	1. The Things You Find in the Dark.

The high pitch whine of the wheels on the metal rails cut through Q’s thoughts. He glanced up as the train came to a stop at the platform. He was sitting on the District Line train heading home to Barkston Garden. Q checked to make sure it wasn’t his stop before allowed his attention to be pulled back into the past. It had been a year since James Bond drove off with Madeline Swann. Q stood on the pavement watching the red brake lights of the DB5 fade into the traffic. He didn’t say anything to Bond when he left, he didn’t even say goodbye. Over the past year he had thought about what would have happened if Bond knew how he felt. It had been a year of hating his fear. A year of being alone in a crowd. A year of wondering why he didn’t say anything to the agent before the man left. A year of hating himself for not taking the chance.

As the subway train rocked back and forth, Q remembered the first time he ever saw James Bond. It wasn’t at the National Gallery as everyone thought. As Bond, himself, believed. It had been earlier, just after Benjamin Wright had started working at MI6. Major Boothroyd had personally recruited him from UCL. Benjamin had been working on his doctorate when he received a summons to the Dean’s Office. Nervously, Benjamin opened the door of the Dean’s private rooms expecting to see the woman who was in charge of the Computer Science department, but instead a rumpled old man was sitting in at her desk. His crooked fingers were tapping away at her computer.

_“Hello?” Benjamin asked as he stepped closer. “Does Mrs. Amherst know you are in here?”_

_The older man smiled at Benjamin and rose from his seat._

_“Major Desmond Boothroyd.” He held his hand out. “And if you are Benjamin Wright, I have a wonderful opportunity for you.”_

_Q remembered the Major offering him a position at MI6 in the cyberterrorism department. Q later learned it was to lead the department and run it himself. Q leaped at the opportunity. His first day at MI6, Major Boothroyd escorted the young man around and introduced him to the various members of the Q Branch staff. That is when the doors banged open and Q saw the most handsome man he had ever seen walk into the department._

_The stranger was pale blonde with a deep tan that came from exercise outside and not from a tanning bed. His shoulders were square and broad and his hips were narrow. The expensive Italian wool suit that showed off the stranger’s perfectly formed backside. And his eyes . . . his beautiful artic blue eyes, gleamed as he approached Benjamin and the Major._

_Major Boothroyd sighed and slumped in his shoulders. “Double O seven, not again.” He turned back to Benjamin. “Find R, he will take you for the rest of your tour, Benjamin. I need to speak to this agent.”_

_The Major left Benjamin alone as he crossed the room and met the stranger half way there. Benjamin knew the man was called 007 but learned his real name, James Bond, later. That night, Benjamin dreamed of James Bond for the first time. And ever since then, the young man fantasized about the man._

_Over the next two years, Benjamin watched Bond from a distance. He skulked around the corners whenever Bond was in the building. Hiding behind large office plants and ducking behind pillars. When Bond was in the field, Benjamin made a point of being in the bullpen to listen in on Bond’s communications with Q Branch. He even helped Bond once with hacking into a criminal’s laptop. Speaking to the man over the ear piece explaining to the agent how to crack the password protection._

_Benjamin had been devastated when it was reported that Bond was killed in Istanbul. Shot off a train by another field agent. For the next few months, Benjamin covertly searched the data banks of MI6 to learn as much as he could possible learn about the dead agent. His fascination growing into a full blown obsession._

_When Benjamin took over Q Branch after MI6 had been hacked and blown up, he learned Bond was still alive and he would have to interact with his fantasy. Benjamin remembered how frantic he was when Tanner made the arrangement for Benjamin to meet Bond at the National Gallery. He fought down his nerves and forced himself to remain calm. As a defense mechanism, he became snarky. Criticizing the agent as much as the other man criticized him. Reaching an understanding between the two of them. The entire time total besotted with the agent._

The subway train pulled into the station and Q disembarked. He walked up the staircase with the other passengers to the main entrance to Earl’s Court Station. His flat was only a few blocks way. A short walk, but he was moving on automatic. Oblivious to the other pedestrians walking down the street. His mind still locked in the past, remembering. Thinking of all the times he and Bond had worked together. How they had established a routine of flirting and taunts. How quickly they learned to trust each other implicitly. How desperately, Q wanted more. Then he remember the last time he saw Bond. Bond walking into Q’s lair. Immaculate again in his grey suit. A little more grey in the blonde hair. A few more wrinkles on that face but still the beautiful blue eyes that Q could never stare at for long without blushing. Bond walked in with his confidence and swagger. His attention focused on the younger man.

_“Bond? What are you doing here?”_

_“I’ve forgotten something.”_

_Q’s heartrate began to pick up. They were alone. No one was there to hear them. Was this the moment that Q was going to finally tell Bond how he felt? Was Q going to throw caution to the wind and tell the man how he much he wanted him?_

_But it wasn’t Q that Bond wanted. It was the DB5. Q watched as Bond drove off with Madeline. The March sun barely coming over the city. Q standing in the shadows . . . alone._

Q climbed the stairs to his third story flat. He preferred the stairs to the narrow lift in the period building. He unlocked the door and came into his dark home. His cats were already circling around his legs.

“I fed you this morning. Leave me alone, won’t you.” He snapped at the felines.

There were six steps up from the front door into the main room. He slowly climbed the final six steps and dropped his messenger bag on the table near the railing, not turning the lights on. He didn’t want to see his empty flat. He didn’t want to remember how alone he was now.

He rubbed his eyes under his glasses and sagged his shoulders. He was tired. Only thirty-four and ready to give it all up. Maybe it was time? There was nothing holding him to MI6 anymore. Maybe he should think about leaving too.

The shadow moved in the room. Q caught the movement from the corner of his eye. He turned to follow it as he reached for his bag. The .380 Colt pistol was secure in the hidden compartment of his messenger bag. His fingers wrapped around the grip, just as the shadow moved forward and stepped into the pale light coming in from the street lamp outside.

The blond hair appeared darker but the face was still the same. And those eyes. Q could never forget those blue eyes.

“BOND!?”

“Hello, Q. Why aren’t you in a securer building? It took me less than five minutes to break in here.” Bond asked with a smugness to his voice.

“I like the neighborhood. What are you doing here?”

“I became bored. I thought I would return to MI6.” Bond said self-satisfied.

Q felt a twist in his stomach. ‘ _Bond was bored. The only reason he would return was because he was bored’_

 _“_ Were is Doctor Swann?” Q asked unable to say what he really wanted to say.

“I don’t know exactly. We decided it wasn’t going to work after a few months. I spent the next eight months on a beach somewhere.”

Eight months . . . eight months, Bond had kept Q waiting. Wondering where he was. Wondering what he was doing with Madeline Swann.

“You bastard . . .” Q said just before he launched himself at Bond.

The fear and pain all congealed together into anger. Q lashed out. His fist hit Bond hard on the side of the man’s face. Bond’s head snapped back but quickly returned as if it was nothing. Q bought his hands up to attack, but Bond was fast. He grabbed Q’s wrists and pushed the younger man backwards and up against the wall of the living room. Pinning the computer expert to the wall, his hands level of Q’s face. Bond pushed his weight into Q’s body to control him. Their faces less than an inch apart.

In the half light, Q could still see James’ face. He could see the determined expression and the hardness in James’ eyes. This was Bond’s mission face. The mask he wore as he decided how to kill someone. But Q wasn’t afraid. He knew he never needed to fear Bond.

Q was pinned to the wall, Bond’s body resting against his. Bond’s hands wrapped tightly around Q’s wrists. Q felt his heart rate pick up and a lightness in his stomach. He had never been touched this way before by the agent. Bond had never been this close to him before. Q was angry but he was also wanting. He felt he had lost Bond once. Let the man go without knowing. He didn’t want it to happen again.

Q pushed his body forward. Bond prepared for Q to struggle and fight against him, but instead, the young man pushed his lips against James’. A warm touch, followed by Q opening his mouth to taste James’ lips. A smear of a tongue across sensitive skin.

Q felt lightheaded. He couldn’t believe what he had just done. He pulled back only to be surprised by Bond chasing after his mouth. Bond licking at Q’s lower lip. Q opened his mouth again and James slipped his tongue into Q’s mouth. Q could taste cigarettes and liquor. But there was something else. Something very James Bond. Q hummed and relaxed in Bond’s grip. Their tongues tangling together as James stepped closer and pushed firmer into Q’s body.

Then Bond stopped. He let go of Q’s wrists and leaned back. Q blinked and regained his focus on James’ face. He could see something different in Bond’s expression. Q wasn’t sure if it was doubt or confusion. Bond took another step back and Q felt adrift. He thought Bond was going to leave him again. This one chance he had and Q decide he was going to take it, regardless of the consequences. This was it.

“Bond?”

“I apologize . . .”

“For what? I kissed you. Isn’t that how this is supposed to start? Isn’t this what you do, 007? Well, prove to me you can still do it. This is your one chance. You’ve been asking for this for years now. Let’s see what you’ve got.” Q said with false bravado. He didn’t know if he was speaking to Bond or himself.

Bond blinked and looked confused for a moment. He licked his lips and took a hesitant step forward. Q reached up and wrapped his arms around James’ shoulders but waited to see what the man would do. Q knew Bond had male lovers but would he actually want Q in that way.

Bond’s eyes moved over Q’s face, then his hand came up and buried itself in Q’s dark curls. Q sighed and closed his eyes. He felt Bond lean into him and the blonde’s lips close over his. The hand in his hair tugged gently and pulled Q’s head back, exposing his neck. James’ mouth moved and started kissing down the young man’s throat.

“What can I have, Q? What will you give me?” Bond’s voice was rough with want. Q had never heard it so needy.

“Everything.” He whispered back. “Anything you want.”

Bond growled and closed his teeth over the tender spot just under Q’s ear. Q whimpered and went limp in Bond’s grasp. Bond wrapped his arms around the lithe body and directed Q towards his bedroom. Together the two men, moved to the bed. Working in tandem they removed their clothes. Q twisted once out of James’ arms to open the bedside table and remove a condom package and small tube of lube. He handed the packet to Bond who glanced at it in his hand and then back to Q’s face.

“Are you sure you want . . .”

“Do you doubt my ability to make decisions now, 007?”

“James . . . call me James.”

A warm spike punctured Q’s soul.

“James . . . I know what I want . . . and I want you to take me.” Q said trying to keep the emotion out of his words. He knew how he felt and he believed Bond wouldn’t ever feel this way. He needed to appear to be as aloof as Bond was, otherwise the blonde might question whether or not to have sex with Q.

Bond kept Q on his back. His hands moved smoothly over the supple body. Bond hummed as he watched his hand skim over pale flesh and down long whipcord muscles. Q’s attention was so focused on the sensation of touch he missed Bond speaking to him.

“Benjamin, you are so beautiful. I’ve want this so much.”

Q’s eyes closed as he felt James’ finger slowly caress up the length of his cock. The organ already engorged and full. James’ finger softly smeared over the slit, the precum coating his fingertip.

Q wanted Bond so badly he was willing to forego the preparation, but Bond took his time. Enjoying the sounds and whimpers he could pull from Q’s throat as he slowly and meticulously prepared him. With each new plea or threat from Q, Bond would lean down and kiss the young man. Q’s whole body felt like it was on fire before James moved between Q’s long legs. Q easily folded himself in two to grant Bond as much access as he could want. The older man groaning as he watched Q open himself up to him.

“Open your eyes, Benjamin.” James whispered as he paused just at Q’s entrance. “Look at me.”

Q did as he was told. As his vision focused on James’ face, Q saw an innocence he had never seen before in James’ expression. A wanting and yet a fear too.

As the broad head of James’ cock slipped in, Q groaned deeply. His body eagerly accepting the intrusion. The intensity of James’ glance became too much for Q and he twisted his head away. Closing his eyes and focusing his attention to sensation of James sliding into him. He felt James’ hand reach back into his hair and grip it tight. James turned Q’s face back to himself and kissed the young man as he bottomed out.

“Beautiful.” James whispered into Q’s lips.

As with everything before, the two men moved in concert. Smoothly and controlled, granting each the greatest pleasure. They seemed like they were old lovers reunited. Knowing instinctually how to please the other. The sound of moans and kisses. Soft slapping skin and heavy breathing. It was more erotic than anything Q had ever experienced. James was taking his time bringing them both to the edge then backing off, only to bring them back again.

Q was whimpering. He remembered calling out James’ name and saying something about wanting to die right there in his arms, only to hear James say no . . . never. Q was to live for more of this.

As the wave crashed over them together, Q felt himself float away. He heard James from far way, telling him how much he wanted Q. He could feel the kisses on his temple, and across his jaw. Sealing over his lips. James stealing his breath away from him and all Q could think was this was the best way in the world to die. Lying in James Bond’s arms and being suffocated by his kisses.

Q came back to himself as he felt a warm damp cloth being carefully wiped across his body. James was stretched out beside him on the bed his head resting on the palm of his hand as he watched the cloth clean Q’s body.

“Are you really coming back, 007?” Q asked.

He could see James tense at the use of his former designation.

“I will see Tanner tomorrow if you want.”

“Of course I want you to come back.” Q said unsure about James’ answer to his first question. “You are the best agent we’ve ever had.”

James’ hand paused in cleaning Q’s body. Q could see James’ expression change back to an indifference. James twisted and moved off the bed. He walked into the bathroom and Q could hear the water running in the sink. A few moments later James walked out. He bent down and grabbed his pants. He bent his knee up to pull his cotton briefs on.

“You can spend the night if you want.” Q whispered into the darkness.

James paused for a moment as his eye tried to see the younger man’s face. He stood up straight and moved closer to the bed. Q was still stretched out.

“I mean it’s late already and if you like . . . you could stay.” Q whispered again afraid his own voice would betray his emotions.

Bond didn’t say anything. He knelt on the edge of the bed and Q lifted the duvet for James to crawl under. Q welcomed the warmth of James’ naked body next to his. He moved closer and rested his head on James’ chest.

“Thank you.”

Q heard the whispered reply as an arm came up and wrapped around his shoulders. Q fell asleep as he felt fingers start to card through his hair.

~Q~

The sun was not yet above the horizon but the morning light was beginning to lighten the room. Q rolled over and reached for the man who had been there throughout the night but the sheets were cool to the touch. Q opened his eyes and glanced around. The clothes were gone from the floor and he could hear the shower running in the bathroom.

Q waited in bed. His body still hidden under the thick duvet. He wrapped his arms around his own torso waiting for the door to open. James came out dressed. His hair wet from the shower and spiky. Q glanced up at the man as he paused by the bed. Bond stared at him for a moment. Q noticed something different in Bond’s expression. He wasn’t sure but he thought it was sadness . . . he was afraid it was regret.

Bond said nothing but turned to leave. The words to call him back were trapped in Q’s throat. He couldn’t speak. He laid in his bed till he heard the click of the front door closing and locking behind Bond leaving. Then he rolled over and pulled the pillow closer that Bond had used in the night. It still held the man’s scent. Q buried his face in the cotton and closed his eyes. He refused to believe he was crying.


	2. A Meal Before Bed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bond wants to have dinner with Q before he goes off on a mission

Two days after Bond left Q’s flat, the rumor mill at MI6 started. Bond had been seen with Bill Tanner. Double O Seven was back. Q remained in the tunnels under the city. He stayed away from the executive branch of MI6. He avoided the cantina and anywhere else he might accidently come across the operative. Q would never admit he was hiding, but he was actively avoiding Bond.

That is why it was all the more a surprise when the man himself walked into Q Branch with Tanner. Q was busy with a new radio he was working on when he glanced up at the sound of the heavy lift doors opening. Tanner strode in with Bond beside him.

Q set the soldering iron down and tried to school his expression. He glanced up through his fringe as the two men approached his workbench. Bond was wearing his dark wool overcoat and black leather gloves. He maintained an air of indifference as he approached the young man. Q fought back the pain it caused as he watched Bond and Tanner walk towards him.

“Q . . . excellent. We need to quickly kit Bond for a short trip to Croatia.” Tanner said as he paused in front of Q.

“I wasn’t informed of any mission.” Q said matter of fact. He stood up but did not move to supply the agent. “What are the parameters?”

“A simple scouting mission of a terrorist leader. We have intel that Darwiish will be on the island of Permuda in a month. Bond is going in to scout out a suitable location for a retention and extraction.”

Q nodded his head. Darwiish was a known terrorist from Somalia. He had been responsible for numerous bombings in Africa as well as the Mediterranean. If MI6 could get hold of him, several different terrorist organizations around the region would be compromised.

“A camera to start with . . .” Q said mostly to himself as he started to consider what Bond would need for such a mission. “Communication and of course your gun.”

“Maybe a good map?” Bond teased.

Q raised an eyebrow. “I believe we can do better than that.”

He retrieve his mobile from his pocket and pressed a number. He tried to look at Bond, but the man’s bright blue eyes were too fierce. Q glanced away as soon as the phone was answered on the other end.

“TJ, very good. I want one of the new tablets download with the most recent aerial and satellite photography of Croatia. Pay specific attention to the coastline and various islands. Also I want the shipping routes and train time tables included on the tablet. Have it in my office as soon as possible. Also bring me a Walther coded to Double O Seven’s palm print . . . Yes.” Q disconnected the call. “Our new tablets have been especially designed for you, double O seven. Nearly indestructible.”

“Challenge accepted.” Bond smiled.

“Not funny.” Glared Q. “They have a shatterproof screen and heavy duty case. Non-hackable and prolonged battery life. Should withstand normal field use. I wouldn’t attempt to stop a bullet with it but it might be able to survive a simple reconnaissance trip with you.”

“Excellent, Q.” Tanner said.

Bond smiled and nodded his head. Q stepped away from his bench and retrieved items he mentioned. He went to a shelf that held several plastic containers. Opening one he removed a camera and handed it to Bond.

“Digital with the ability to photograph in low light as well as switch to infrared photography. Zoom lens, of course.”

“Of course.” James played with the camera taking pictures of Q as he spoke. The younger man tried to look like he was not amused by Bond’s antics. TJ came in with the tablet and the Walther already in a shoulder holster.

“Your communication.” Q said as he handed the small plastic earwig to Bond. TJ handed the gun and tablet to Q who turned around and handed them to Bond. “Please try to return all of these items this time. I do not enjoy repairing the earwigs after they had been submerged in Champaign nor do I find cleaning your gun after it has traveled through the gut of a Komodo Dragon pleasurable.”

“Maybe we can discuss what you find pleasurable. I would hate for you to become bored, Q.” James said with false sincerity.

Q felt a wave of embarrassment pass through him. He hoped not but he was sure he was blushing.

“Me bored? Never.” Q quibbled back.

Tanner rolled his eyes and sighed. “I have to return to E Branch. Bond wait for your travel documents. You will leave in eighteen hours.”

Bond nodded his head and returned his attention back to the camera Q had handed him. Q dismissed TJ and Tanner left with the young man. Bond seemed to be focused on the camera until the doors closed behind Tanner and TJ, leaving James and Q alone.

“I leave in eighteen hours.” Bond said quietly.

“Yes, so I heard.” Q returned to the radio he was working on earlier. James followed him over to his desk. Standing beside the young man.

“I would like to have dinner with you before I go.” James said softly to avoid being overheard even though they were alone.

“Dinner?” Q glanced up quickly.

“Yes, dinner. You know a meal you have before bedtime.”

Q blushed again and Bond smile broadened. “Yes, dinner . . . I could meet you somewhere . . . I guess.”

Bond leaned into Q’s personal space.

“I’ll be at your flat at eight.”

Q’s eyes were locked on James lips. He waited, expecting for the man to lean further in and kiss him, but Bond pulled back and moved away.

“I’ll go find those travel documents. You best get back to work. I don’t want you to have to stay late tonight, Q.”

Before the young man could answer him, Bond disappeared down the hall and further into Q Branch.

~Q~

It was ten to eight when Q got off the District Line train. He didn’t want to run the short blocks to his flat, but he knew he would never be ready for Bond by eight o’clock if he didn’t. Q rushed into his flat, taking the stairs two at a time. He pulled his messenger bag from his shoulder and dropped it on the table by his front door. His cats tripping him as he rushed. Q quickly showered and was towel drying his hair when he heard the knock on the front door. He sighed. Bond was there and Q was standing in his bathroom naked except for the towel wrapped low around his waist.

His bare feet padded softly to the door and Q opened it. The cool air conditioned air raised goose bumps on his damp skin as he walked.

Bond glanced up with a moment’s hesitation of surprise at seeing Q nearly naked before him, before he smiled and said. “I appreciate the attire but I was expecting something a little more . . . traditional.”

“Very funny, Bond. Blame Tanner and the budget committee. They kept me late going over expenditures. Something about a three hundred thousand pound prototype car being sunk in the Tiber River.”

“That was over a year ago. Tell them to move on.” Bond said as he stepped into the flat.

Q glanced down and noticed the paper sack in Bond’s grip. The scent of shellfish and spices wafted up for Q to smell.

“I thought we were going out?” Q said as he eyed the take away in Bond’s hand.

“Dressed like that? What type of restaurant were you expecting me to take you to?”

Q rolled his eyes. “Let me get dressed.” He turned and dashed up the six steps leading from his front door to his flat.

“Don’t on my account.” Bond said as he watched the muscles under Q’s skin flex and move.

Q glanced over his shoulder and glared at the man. He marched into his bedroom but kept the door open as he went to his cupboard.

Q had expected Bond to arrive in a suit. He had planned to wear one too, but Bond arrived in dark jeans and royal blue jumper. He wore a black leather jacket and a grey scarf. Q was relieved. He slipped on a pair of comfortable jeans and an oversized turtle-neck. Since he had decided to go with comfort instead of suave, Q slipped on his fur lined slippers instead of shoes.

Bond was already pulling take away containers from the paper sack when Q joined him at the table. Q’s living room and kitchen were combined into a large open space. He liked it that way because when he did have guests over, he wasn’t stuck in the kitchen alone while they sat in sitting room. Q pulled two plates down from the shelf and grabbed a set of cutlery. Bond held up two sets of chop sticks eyeing Q with a question.

“Yes, I know how to use chop sticks.” Q said without being asked officially.

“Good. Pad Thai should never be eaten with a fork.” He set the containers down on the table. “I also have chicken Satya and pho.”

“Oh, God, it smells great.” Q said sitting down reaching for one of the containers.

Bond pulled out two bottles of Thai Beer. He sat down across from Q watching as the young man happily dove into the soup bowl of pho. Q slurped up the noodles and hummed. Bond smiled and leaned over to hand Q a lime slice.

“Try this in it.” James said. Q glanced at him then the lime in his hand. Q took it and squeezed the citrus over the dish then tried it again.

“Perfect. How did you know Thai food is my favorite?”

“I didn’t. I just happen to like it a great deal myself.”

The two men ate quietly for several minutes, enjoying their food and sipping on the large beers.

“You know this wasn’t what I was expecting.” Q said as he bit into a spring roll.

“No? What did you expect?”

“I don’t know . . . the Savoy. Something so expensive I could never afford to eat there on my own.” Q said with a shrug.

“Disappointed?” Bond asked apprehensive of the answer.

“Absolutely not. After the day I’ve had, this is actually . . . perfect. You surprised me, 007.” Q said with a smile just before he took another sip of beer.

Bond relaxed slightly. “You called me James last time I was here.”

“I think you asked me to call you James.”

Bond leaned back in the kitchen chair while his eyes remained fixed on Q. Q watched as James’ relaxed expression shifted into something a little more guarded.

“I believed we asked each other several things last time I was here.”

Q could feel the warmth of a blush come over his face. He averted his eyes back down to his plate of food.

“I apologize if it was an inconvenience.” Q said almost too softly to be heard.

“It wasn’t. I wouldn’t be here if it was, Q.”

Q glanced back up again to see the relax expression return to Bond’s face. Bond continued.

“In fact, I was hoping you might request . . .”

Q felt another flush of heat as he was certain his blushed deepened. His awkwardness seemed to relax Bond further. The older man leaned closer as if to kiss Q, but hesitated just at the edge of touching the young man.

“I would always follow your request, Quartermaster.” Bond whispered.

Q couldn’t help himself but laugh. “Always? If my memory serves me correctly, I’ve often requested you return your equipment but as of yet . . .”

“That was a year ago. Ask me now. Ask me anything.” James said seductively.

“There is so much I would like to ask you to do.” Q cocked an eyebrow up. The corner of his mouth curling up in a smile.

“There is so much I want to do with you.” James rumbled before he closed the final distance and kissed Q’s plump red lips.

~Q~

They made it to the bedroom again. A trail of clothes followed behind them as they went. Bond pulled Q down onto the bed with him. Wrapping his arms around Q’s body as he kissed the young man’s neck. Bond felt so warm next to Q’s skin. His hands were hot as they roamed over Q’s back.

Bond placed his hands firmly on Q’s hips and pulled them up. Q hesitated for a moment then realized what Bond was silently asking him to do. Q shuffled his knees forward and sat up straight on Bond’s hips. Bond tugged again.

“Come up here. I want a taste.”

Q’s heartrate spiked as he looked down into Bond’s lust filled eyes. He reached up and grabbed the headboard to steady himself as he slowly slid his knees forward. Q slipped up on the bed till his cock was resting on James’ lips. Q watched as James kissed the tip of his gland then drew his tongue out. James slowly lapped around the dark red head then slowly traced the thick vein on the underside with the tip of his tongue.

Q was so entranced by James’ tongue and the sensation of its caresses that he missed the sound of the tube of lube being opened and Bond squeezing out a small dab on his fingers. Bond kept up the light licks and gentle nips on Q’s cock as his finger came up and started to massage Q’s entrance. The younger man closed his eyes and tip his head back, as a moan escaped his mouth. He arched his back and brought the cock closer to James’ mouth. Just as James’ lips sealed over the length, Q felt the first finger pierce his body.

Q’s knuckles turned white as he gripped the headboard. His eyes were closed as he concentrated on the sensations of James’ mouth and his fingers inside his body. The young man rocking back and forth between each touch. By the time James was starting to push three fingers into Q, the young man was panting and moaning shamelessly.

“Wait . . .” Q said as he pulled himself for James’ mouth. “I want . . . Let me ride you.”

James moaned like he was in pain. His hands went to Q’s waist and he guided the young man back over his groin. Q grabbed James’ thick length and held it still as he slowly lowered himself on it. Bond thought he had never seen anything so erotic before in his life. His fingertips slid up Q’s blemish free torso as the young man groaned and took more of James in.

Then Q was seated. James was deep inside the young man’s body. Q began to rock slowly back and forth. He leaned back and rested his palms on James’ thighs and circled his hips before he sped up his thrusts. James forced himself to keep his eyes open as he watched Q ride him. The obscene sounds the young man was making just intensified the image of Q’s body arched over James and his engorged member slapping up and down between James’ abdomen and Q’s.

“Close . . .” Q whispered.

James reached up and wrapped his hand around Q’s length. The young man nearly screamed and curved forward. James’ strokes matched Q’s bounces. Q’s hot cum splashed across James stomach. He shifted his hands to James’ chest, while Bond was still thrusted into Q’s body. The pulsations of Q’s climax sweet torture to the blonde.

Q looked down into James’ face as he felt the man shove himself deeper into Q’s overly sensitive body. Q curved his fingers and dragged his fingernails down James’ tan chest leaving red marks behind. Just as the fingernails scrapped over James’ sensitive nipples, James’ grip on Q’s hips tightened and he pulled the younger man down hard as he pushed up. Arching his back as he released himself deep within Q’s body.

“You’re fucking gorgeous, Benjamin.” James said as he pulled the dark haired man down onto his chest and wrapped his arms around Q’s narrow shoulders.

Q hummed and purred, allowing himself to luxuriate in the compliment.

Then it hit.

Bond had used Q’s real name.

How did Bond know Q’s real name?

The young man laid on top of James body, listening to the man’s heartbeat while he thought about the fact that Bond had information that was classified. Q’s name had be redacted from every electronic source years ago. Only a handful of people remembered Q’s name from before he became Quartermaster. He sincerely doubted that M even knew what it was. How did Bond know?

Q thought back to the first time they had slept together. Bond has used it then too but Q was so overwhelmed by the man actually taking him to bed he hadn’t realized it. So, Bond had known Q’s name before they ever slept together. Bond had confidential information about Q that no one else short of the head of the MOD had. Was Bond setting Q up? Was this all some kind of mission for Bond?

Q felt sick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the wonder comments and support. You are the greatest.


	3. Completely Unexpected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Q's paranoia gets the best of him. Then he may have lost the chance to straighten things out between Bond and himself.

Q lay on James’ chest as if he was listening to the man’s heartbeat. But Q wasn’t listening, he was thinking. How did James know his real name? Why would James know it? Would it be a mission brief? Is that how Bond knew Q’s favorite food was Thai? Or what he needed to say to get Q into bed? Was this some sick mission and Q was somehow a mark?

All the question ricocheted inside Q’s head as he lay there. His body occasionally twitching as a new question came to him. James could feel the young man tensing under his palms.

“What is it, Benjamin?” James asked.

“Nothing.” Q answered too quickly for it to be nothing. He sat up and pulled himself out of James’ grasp. “I’ll get us a towel to clean up.”

Q slipped off the bed before James could reach for him. He stiffly walked into the bathroom while he tried to remember if Bond had arrived with a gun. Q had given him the Walther earlier in the day, was it here in the flat with them? Had Bond slipped it under the pillow? Was Bond going to use it on the younger man?

James watched Q as he walked away from the bed. Q seemed to be concentrating hard on something other than what they had just been doing. Bond wasn’t vain but he did expect to maintain Q’s attention longer than thirty seconds after they were done.

“Is there a problem? Did I hurt you?”

“No, not at all.” Q said as he reached the bathroom door. “Just give me a second.”

He entered the small bathroom and turned on the light. He quickly closed the door and hesitated before locking it. Q felt sick. He didn’t understand what was going on. James Bond was not supposed to know his name, but the man had used it in the most unguarded fashion.

Was this Bond’s mission? Was Q his mark? Why else would the man be interested in bedding the skinny computer geek?

The questions kept coming to the young man as he stared at himself in the mirror. He could see the bruises on his skin from their sex. The love bites across his collar bone. His swollen lips from James’ kisses. Q felt like he was going to vomit. He just wanted to get in the shower and wash everything off. Not just the drying fluids but the marks and James’ scent. The memory of his touches.

The knock on the door was loud. Q literally jumped with it.

“Q? . . . Are you alright?” Q could hear Bond through the door.

Bond grabbed the door handle and rattled it. Q took another step back.

“Q! Open the door . . . what is wrong?!” Bond sounded urgent.

Q forced himself to take a step forward reaching for the door, then stopped. “I’m fine. Just cleaning up.”

Q’s heart was racing. His skin broke out in a sweat.

“Q?”

“Bond, it’s late. Maybe you should go home now. I’m very tired.”

“Q, open the door.” Bond demanded.

Q finally stepped forward and unlocked the door. Bond came crashing into the tiny bathroom. His eyes quickly searching for any threat. When he assured himself that Q was alone and unhurt, he straightened his shoulders and composed himself.

“I don’t understand, Q. What happened? What did I do?”

Q forced himself to remain still and not to shake. “Nothing . . . it’s like I said. I’m tired and want to go to sleep . . . alone.”

“Alone?”

“Yes, please.”

Bond stared at Q for a moment, then nodded his head. He silently returned to the bedroom. Q hesitated for moment in the bathroom then followed the man into the bedroom. Bond already had his trousers on and his shirt. He was pulling on his socks when Q came in. Bond’s movements were short and sharp. He glanced up at Q and his artic blue eyes were burning with anger. He yanked his socks on then pushed his feet into his shoes. He stood up without saying a word.

“Bond . . . I don’t think we should . . .”

“Absolutely, Quartermaster. No need to say it.” Bond grabbed his jacket. He marched out of the bedroom. Q heard the front door of the flat slam shut.

~Q~

Q arrived at MI6 at his normal hour the following morning. The department was already busy. R was moving between the various stations reviewing the progress of each minion. Q gave the room a cursory look then went to his office. He pulled the messenger bag from his shoulder, then pulled off his coat. There was a soft knock on Q’s door and he didn’t even need to look up to know it was R.

“Come in,” he said as he powered up his computer.

“Good morning, Q. Everything is running well so far.” She smiled as she set a handful of files on Q’s desk. The young man glanced at them and sighed. “Don’t worry, you don’t have to have the reports completed and turned back to Tanner until the end of the day.”

“Thanks . . .” Q said sarcastically.

“Okay, a quick rundown of what is going on. First, Tanner wants to know how soon you will have next year’s projected budget for him.”

“Later now that Bond is back. God knows how much he was going to blow through.” Q said dispassionately.

“Second, TJ has been working on a new compact grenade in R&D and wants to show it to you. Supposed to be more bang for the size. And since you already mentioned Bond . . . Margo will be handling his mission in Croatia.”

Q finally looked up from his computer at the woman. “Margo? Bond is a double ‘O’. Either you or I should be handling him.”

“I know but he asked if we would give Margo a chance. I thought since it was such a low level mission . . . only reconnaissance, that it would be safe to give her the experience of working with a double ‘O’. Bond can be difficult but if she can handle him, then in the next few months we can move her up to handle more missions and free you up for more administrative duties.” R said with a smile.

“He specifically asked for Margo?” Q was surprised.

“Yes. He came in just at shift change. I just arrived. He asked for Margo and . . . oh, you don’t think that there is something going on between the two of them?” R asked glancing over her shoulder at the young woman in question. “She is attractive and young . . .”

Margo Turner was a two years younger than anyone else in the department. Barely out of uni, she had skipped a post-doctorate and immediately started working for MI6 after Q recruited her. Her sleek black hair had the ends dyed a vibrant blue and she wore thick kohl eyeliner around her large pale blue eyes. She purposely used white makeup that made her pale skin almost ghostly. And her preferred clothing choices were short black skirts with motocross boots.

“I sincerely doubt Bond is Margo’s type . . . or she’s Bond’s type either.” Q said glancing away hoping R didn’t catch the blush that came to his skin.

“Do you wish to handle Bond yourself?” R asked.

Q gave the woman a sideways glance. He wondered if she was determining if there was anything Q was hiding.

“No . . . I sincerely don’t trust Bond’s judgment regarding his own safety but he is very good at judging other people. If he feels she is competent to assist in his mission then she is.” Q kept his face down and his attention focused on his computer screen.

R watched Q for a moment then said. “Okay, I’ll let her know. He will be in Dubrovnik in a few hours.”

“Very good, thank you, R.” Q said.

R nodded and left his office. A moment later Margo knocked on the open door. Q glanced up to the young woman standing there holding his Scrabble ‘Q’ mug. The steam rolled up and around her face. The smiling skull on her jumper matched her pale complexion.

“Yes, Margo . . . Thank you.”

The woman entered and set the mug on his desk. “I just wanted to thank you for giving me this chance. I know there were a lot of other techs ahead of me for the que to handle a double ‘O’ mission.”

Q glanced at his mug. He wondered if he dared taste it to see if she got it right or if he was going to have to sneak out and get a fresh mug of tea.

“Not as many as you think. Not many of your co-workers want to handle the double ‘O’s. They can be a bit . . .”

“Twitchy?” Margo asked.

“Difficult.” Q said.

“Bond came in earlier this morning. I had just finished an op with a field agent in Hong Kong. He asked if I would work with him for this mission. I couldn’t believe he actually asked me.” Margo was almost gushing with enthusiasm. Q hadn’t seen her this excited except for the time she had tracked down a hacker in Russia that had eluded capture by everyone else. Well, everyone but Margo and Q. “thank you for giving me the opportunity.”

“Don’t thank me yet. Wait until the mission is over. You may not want to thank me at all after dealing with Bond over the coms. He can be . . . uncooperative.” Q said. He felt a twinge of regret that he wouldn’t be the one listening to Bond.

“Don’t worry. I know how the pester him along.” Margo smiled and bounced out of the office.

Q was now alone. He had been staring at the same computer screen for five minutes. His finger frozen above the keys. He didn’t know why he felt hurt that Bond had requested someone else to run ops with him, but he did. Q knew he should feel relieved that he didn’t have to interact with the man after the disaster of the night before. He still didn’t understand how Bond knew his name.

Q glanced around his department. R might know his name, and maybe one other person in the whole department. Q knew no one else was aware that his first name was Benjamin. It was for security reasons that it had been hidden. Tanner knew, but not Eve or M. None of the other department heads knew his real name. It had been one of the stipulations of him taking the position of Quartermaster. His anonymity.

Unconsciously, Q reached for his mug and took a deep drink, then regretted it. Margo had used sugar instead of honey. He set the mug down on the desk and set his chin into his palms. Resting his elbows on the table he stared blankly into the same computer screen as before. He wondered what Bond was up to. Why had he appeared in Q’s flat that first night and why had he asked for the second night? What was the man playing at? Did Bond know how besotted Q was with him? Was Bond just playing with Q’s emotions? And more importantly . . . how did he know Q’s name?

~Q~

Although Q and R had given Margo the com link for Bond’s mission and to be Bond’s primary contact, didn’t mean Q wasn’t going to eavesdrop. As Margo stood at Q’s normal spot for missions, Q remained in his office. His own computer tied into computer Margo was using to scan maps and the timetable of the shipping around the island. Q also listened in to each and every conversation Margo had with Bond over the next three days.

Q had to admit that Margo was excellent at ignoring Bond’s flirtations and very willing to order the man about without concern for retaliation on his part. Q listened to the pair work together and although it wasn’t as smooth as when he and Bond worked together it was still efficient. He would have to schedule the young woman to handle other double ‘O’s to see if it was just a fluke with Bond or if she could really handle herself with the prima donnas.

Things were going well with Bond and Margo, so Q decided to go down to R&D and check out TJ’s new grenade. He took his scrabble mug with him and headed down the stairs to the lower labs.

Q opened the fireproof doors and walked into the department with its rows of black Formica counters and grey tile floors. There was the low hum of the ventilation ducts, drawing in fresh air and removing any fumes or smoke from the windowless labs. Three other techs were working on projects on different benches. Various pieces of electronic equipment were scattered between the workstations. TJ was working on one of the back benches, the furthest from the door. Just beyond him was a simple cinderblock cubical built into the concrete wall with a dirt floor, a heavy metal door and shatterproof viewing window. It was 12x12x10 foot cubical where minor explosive tests could be performed. The explosion had to be small because of the size of the room but even small explosions could be lethal.

Q walked up to TJ and noticed a box sitting on the counter with six egg shaped metal balls with a simple metal plunger on the top. Q glanced at the tray suspiciously.

“What is the arming mechanism?”

“The agent simple needs to remove the pin and depress this center fire button. There is a high pitch whine then the grenade explodes in four seconds.” TJ said proudly.

“Four seconds? Not much time to escape.” Q commented.

“Well, the high pitch whine is a diversion before the grenades explode.”

“The housing?”

“I’m still working on that. Unfortunately, I have found standard grenade casing don’t work. Too bulky. These are only prototypes so I’ve gone ahead and used a thin metal casing.” TJ said.

“Well, let’s see one in action.”

Q and TJ walked over to the cinderblock cubical. Q stood at the window as TJ went into the room and placed one of the six grenades on the podium with the triggering device. He removed the pin that prevented the plunger from being depressed. Leaving quickly, TJ closed the door and then stood next to Q as he pressed the button and the triggering device pressed the button on the top of the grenade. Instantly, there was a loud piercing whistle. TJ started counting. When he reached four, the grenade exploded and filled the small room with a thick black smoke. Shrapnel from the grenade bounced off the window and caused Q and TJ to jump.

“I like the smoke and the concussion is good, but that housing is bad. We need to think about an acrylic plastic.” Q said and TJ nodded.

TJ turned back and grabbed the tray of grenades. There was a tiny ting and suddenly one of the grenades started to whistle.

“The pin slipped out! I don’t know which one is armed!” TJ shouted.

Q grabbed the tray and flung it towards the open door of the cinderblock room. It bounce off the door frame. The contents of the box landed partially in the cubical and partially in the room with Q and TJ.

“GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!” Q shouted at the other techs in the room.

Q grabbed TJ and pushed him towards the door. Q counted to four in his head then pulled TJ down to the floor and covered the man’s body with his. The three other techs were out the door when the explosion happened. The sound of shattering glass and crashing objects surround Q and TJ.

The concussion of the explosion pushed the air out of Q’s lungs. He struggled to climb to his feet. TJ was crawling out from underneath him. Q reached for the counter to steady himself when he realized he had made a terrible mistake.

The second explosion was louder than the first and just two seconds later. Q was knocked forward and into a wall. The fire alarms sounded, Q and TJ had less than twenty seconds to evacuate before the halogen fire suppressant system started. Q struggled to his feet again as he pulled TJ along with him. The final explosion was the compressed gas cylinders that were kept in R&D. Q only briefly registered them exploding with a heavy sigh of “Oh bugger.” Then everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the wonderful comments. Yes, Q is acting stupid but he lacks self confidence as to why James would want to be there in the first place so he is not thinking clearly. And of course James never trusts anyone so he can't even trust Q to tell him the truth. Hang in for two more chapters.


	4. Medical

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bond comes to see Q in medical

Bond was driving the jeep up the coastal road. In the last three days, he had located two viable locations for retention and extraction. Both were warehouses on separate docks with limited traffic but good access to the water. He was traveling up the coast to check on a possible third location. Darwiish would be on the island in three weeks. Bond wanted everything ready before the man arrived.

He glanced at his watch and realized it was time for his 0600 GMT check in with Margo. He keyed up his com link and began talking.

“Seahawk for Raven’s Nest.” Bond smiled at the code names. The idea of the raven haired Quartermaster sitting amongst his minions in a large nest made out of computer cables, came to mind.

“This is Raven’s Nest, proceed Seahawk. How is your Mediterranean holiday, 007?” R said with her clear diction.

“R? Where is Margo?” Bond asked as he slowed the jeep down for a sharp turn along the sea cliff. The plunge into the blue sea from the narrow road was only blocked by a low crumbling sandstone wall.

“She is . . . unable to continue as your handler for this mission. She has been reassigned.” R said hesitantly.

“Did something happen?” Bond asked as he continued to drive too fast for the narrow road.

“Not to her. But there was an explosion in R&D yesterday. Several people were hurt and Margo is needed elsewhere in Q Branch for the time being.”

Bond’s heart started to beat harder. A wave adrenaline surged through his body. His grip tightened on the steering wheel.

“Who was hurt? Anyone killed?”

“TJ didn’t make it out.” R hesitated as the image of the young man flashed in her mind. “There were three other techs in the room when the first explosion happened. They got out. Q . . .”

Bond swallowed back anger.

“What about Q?” Bond’s voice took on a sharp edge.

“He was trying to get himself and TJ out when the compressed gas tanks blew. He is medical but they don’t know if he will wake up.

Bond swerved the jeep off the road and onto the gravel. The back of the jeep fishtailed and the vehicle spun as Bond forced to control it.

“Get me back, R!” Bond shouted.

“007, your mission is not complete.” R stated but she was confused by Bond’s request.

“Get me back to London or I’ll do it myself!”

“Bond?”

Bond tore the earwig from his ear and tossed it away. He jammed the accelerator petal down and the rear wheels spun in the gravel before catching and propelling the jeep back down the road. Bond drove back to the docks where he had been.

The fishing fleet was in and the boats were being prepared to sail that evening. Bond walked quickly down the dock till he found a boat missing its crew. He quickly untied the bowline then jumped aboard. The fuel tanks were full so he started the engines. The old Diesel engines spewed black smoke and the propellers splashed water up as Bond untied the stern. Within minutes the old fishing boat had cleared the harbor and was heading out to the sea. Bond glanced at the coast line as he passed. He knew he would be in Venice before midnight and from there he could get to London in a matter of hours.

~Q~

Tanner met Bond at the doors to Medical. He had two armed security guards with him.

“What are you doing here?” Bond asked as he tried to push his way passed. “Don’t you have some paperwork needing pushing?”

“It didn’t require Sherlock Holmes to determine where you would be. You abandoned your mission after you were told Q was injured.” Tanner said still blocking Bond’s entry.

“Very good for you . . . now get out of my way.” Bond growled.

The two security guards stepped closer and started to twist the AR15’s they were holding to aim at Bond.

“I wouldn’t do that.” Bond said with a sneer as he glanced between the two men.

“Stand down.” Tanner ordered. The two men hesitated for a moment glancing at the shorter Chief, then lowered their guns. Tanner nodded then turned back to Bond. “Now what is going on between you and Q?”

Bond’s expression shift only briefly. A sadness came to his sharp eyes then just as rapidly disappeared. If Tanner hadn’t been a trained observer, he would have missed it.

“You’re more than just friends.” Tanned said softly.

“No . . . not friends . . . coworkers.” Bond said.

Tanner didn’t believe him. He stepped to the side to let Bond pass. “I can give you fifteen minutes, then we will need you to join us. M want’s a report.”

“Tell, him everything is arranged to kidnap Darwiish when he arrives. I’ll even go back and bring him in myself.” Bond said over his shoulder as he walked down the empty hall.

“That is assuming you won’t be under arrest when you are done seeing . . . your coworker.”

Bond ignored Tanner and kept walking to the room across from the nurse’s desk. He could hear the heart monitor beeping softly. A slow steady rhythm. Bond pushed the door closed behind him as he entered the room. The curtains were drawn and the light was dim. He could clearly see the young man lying in the bed on his side. The sheet was pulled down to Q’s waist. His chest was bare and exposed for Bond to see. The man had a flash of memory of slipping his fingers across the pale skin just a few days before.

There were white gauze bandages covering Q’s back. They were barely visible to Bond from the angle he was standing at. Bond felt sick. He remember how beautiful Q’s body was. The long sleek back with is whipcord muscles flexing as they moved together. Bond remembered the appearance of Q’s unblemished skin as he stared at what was certainly marred flesh now.

Q’s face appeared relaxed in sleep, just as Bond had seen it before. Just as it was after Q had fallen asleep in his arms. But the closer Bond watched him the more he saw though. Q’s eyes were closed but appeared darkly smudge. There was strain around Q’s eyelids, and tensing of his lips. Q was in pain. Even in sleep, the young man felt the searing of the burns across his back.

Bond stepped closer and bought his hand up to Q’s face. He hesitated, because he didn’t want to wake the man and bring the pain he was in to the surface. Instead of touching Q’s face, he slipped his fingers back and dragged them lightly through Q’s hair. It wasn’t as soft as he had remembered it. It was brittle and felt dirty. The bomb blast had singed the curls. Burnt the edges and left the remainder damaged.

Even as Bond frowned at Q’s ruined hair, the young man moaned and leaned up into the touch.

“James . . .” the breathy sound was barely audible over the hum of the machines.

“Benjamin, darling . . . sleep my love. I am here.” James said as he leaned over Q’s body and gently left a kiss to the young man’s temple.

Bond stood over Q’s bed as he heard the door open. The soft step of crepe soled shoes entering in behind him. Bond tensed instinctively, ready to protect the young man in the bed.

“Bond . . . M wants to speak to you.” Tanner said softly.

“What have the doctors said?” Bond asked without turning around to look at the Chief of Staff.

“He was lucky. He has thirty percent burns of second degree. Less than ten percent are third degree. A concussion and probable hearing loss. He is on low dose morphine right now. They will increase it once he wakes up and medical is expecting him to be back to work in a month or two.”

Bond dragged his fingers through the damaged curls again.

“How long has this been going on, Bond?” Tanner asked.

“Only for a few weeks. Well, just a few weeks for him. I’ve been involved for years.” Bond said with a sad laugh.

“Years? Skyfall?”

“No, before. When the Major was still here. I saw him one day talking to Boothroyd. I never approached him. He seemed so . . . innocent.” James said. “When I came back from being dead . . . after the bombing, I couldn’t find his name anywhere. I thought he had been killed by Silva. Imagine my surprise when he sat down next to me at the gallery. I couldn’t believe it. He had no idea who I was. He criticized me for being old.”

“What changed?” Tanner asked.

“I saw how he looked at me when I left with Madeline. I thought . . . I thought I had missed my chance but when I came back, we started seeing each other. Only . . . for Benjamin it was just sex. He didn’t want anything more.”

“You know his name?”

“I asked Major Boothroyd his name after I saw him the first time. I’ve learned everything about him I could over the years. Where he went to school. His favorite food. How he likes his tea.” James said as his finger traced down Q’s jaw line.

“Some would think that was a little creepy . . . you stalking him, but . . .” Tanner shrugged.

“But what else would one expect out of a spy.” Bond sighed and stepped back. “It doesn’t matter. As long as he is safe, I can stay in the shadows. Honestly, what would he want with an old burnt out killer anyway.”

Bond turned to face Tanner. The other man just stared at Bond. He wondered if he should tell him that Q had been calling out to him in his delirium. Tanner wondered how two of the most intelligent people he knew could be so stupid.

“M is waiting.” Tanner said instead of the truth.

Bond nodded and walked out of the room, Tanner following behind him. Neither man heard the mewing of Q in the bed.

“James . . . come back to me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was going to be the end of the story, (remember, I said I was depressed while writing this) but ff_fan recommended another chapter. So don't hate me, there is another chapter to come. And Hatake_Tsughi gets bonus points for figuring out what's up with Bond.


	5. The Final Conversation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Q wakes up in Medical.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I said in the last chapter, I was only going to write four chapters. It was going to end with Q and James never knowing how the other one felt, but FF_Fan asked for the fifth chapter. I hope you enjoy it.

Q had about three seconds of consciousness before the searing pain came to him.

“Fuck . . .” he hissed as he closed his eyes again. Squeezing them tight, he tried to will the burning sensation in his back and legs away.

“Benjamin, you’re okay . . . you’re safe.” A familiar voice came to him through the pain and he felt a hand softly pet his damaged hair.

As soon as Q heard the voice, his heart rate increased. The rhythmic beep changing tempo as he licked his dry lips. Q wished the monitor would shut up and quit exposing him. Q hoped the man would think it was because Q was waking up and not his presence that was sending Q’s heart racing.

“Bond? You’re in . . . you are supposed to be on a mission.” Q’s voice was brittle.

“Now that you are awake, the doctors will increase your morphine. You’ll be out of pain in just a moment.” Bond said as he pressed the call button attached to the hospital bed.

“Can I have some water?” Q tried to speak but his mouth felt like dry sandpaper.

Q felt the touch of a straw to his lips. He closed them tightly over the plastic and pulled in the cool moisture.

“Just a small sip.”

Q opened his eyes to see Bond looked down at him. His sharp blue eyes were shifting and moving over Q’s features. Q let the straw slip from his mouth. He wanted to ask Bond a question but he didn’t know how to form the words.

The two men just stared at each other. Neither one able to find the words that were presently trapped in their throats. Before either could speak, the door opened and the doctor entered with two nurses. Bond stepped away from the bed and into the shadowed corner. Without his glasses, Bond became a wash of color and indistinguishable shape to Q, but the young man kept his gaze fixed on Bond. With the assistance of the nurses, Q sat up. The doctor examined Q’s vitals, checking his heart and lungs before turning his attention to Q’s back. The man asked Q what he remembered and where the young man hurt.

“No and everywhere, obviously.” Q snapped at the man. He wished he could see Bond’s face. He needed to know if the man was smiling or not.

The doctor ignored Q’s comment as he reapplied the bandages to the burned area across Q’s shoulder.

“The scarring should be minimal and physical therapy with help with range of movement.” The doctor walked back around and faced Q. “We will increase your morphine for the time being now that we know your concussion was mild. Try to get some rest. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“When can I return to work?” Q asked. He noticed a huff of breath from Bond in the corner.

“Work? Let’s just see how you heal of next few days. Maybe in a month or two.” The doctor sounded condescending.

“A month or two!?” Q snapped then wish he hadn’t. The pain increased across the damaged skin over his shoulder blades as he jerked.

Bond stepped forward. “Thank you, Doctor Hayes. I will make sure he cooperates.”

“As if you ever did . . .” Hayes glared at Bond, but then left.

A nurse stepped forward and Q watched as she slipped the needle into the port on his IV tubing. She quickly depressed the plunger and Q felt a warmth come over him.

“That will help you sleep.” She said as she turned her attention to the machine regulating the dosage of morphine. She pressed a few buttons and the machine beeped and plastic cogs began to turn slowly. She turned back to Q and carefully pushed his shoulder till the young man understood and laid down on his side. Pulling the covers back up over his legs, she glanced around and decided everything was as it should be.

“Don’t stay long, Bond. Don’t tire him out.” She warned the agent as she left.

Bond remained in the corner as the door closed. Q’s eyes were still fixed on the blobs of color he believed were Bond.

“I’ll stay till you fall asleep.” Bond whispered from the corner.

Q closed his eyes and nodded softly against the pillow, but he didn’t keep them closed.

“Please come closer. I can’t see your face.” Q said. He hated how much like a child he sounded.

Bond stepped out of the corner and slid a chair closer to the bed. He sat down so he was eyelevel with the man in the bed. Q slipped his hand out from under the covers and held it out to Bond. For a second the older man just looked at it, then a sad smile came to his face and he took Q’s hand.

“I had a dream while I was unconscious.” Q started hesitantly. Bond’s eyes shifted from their hands back to Q’s face. Q wish he had his glasses on because he could not read the nuances of James’ expression without them. “I dreamed you were here and talking to me.”

“I was here. I . . . my mission was complete. I found two separate location to hold Darwiish until he can be extricated. I came back to England to find out you tried to blow yourself up.” Bond lied.

The morphine was beginning to take hold of the young man. He could still feel the pain of the burns but it was as if he didn’t care anymore. His body felt lighter and more fluid. The pain slipped to the background of his consciousness.

“Before I am completely woozy from these drugs, I need to know . . . I need to know if my dream was . . .” Q struggled to put words together. He didn’t know if it was the drugs or his own fear.

“I spoke to you while you were unconscious.” Bond said softly. “I was worried, Benjamin.”

Q’s eyes snapped open widely. That was it! That was what he needed to know.

“My name . . . you said my name.”

“Yes.”

“No one knows my name.” Q said as he tried to sit up.

Bond stood up and gently pushed Q back down into the warm sheets.

“What do you mean, no one knows your name?” Bond asked confused.

“How do you know my name?” Q felt a surge of adrenaline burn through the approaching fog of morphine.

“I must have read it somewhere after I got back. I mean, it has to be somewhere.” Bond knew it was a poor explanation and hoped the drugs would befuddle Q enough to believe him.

“No, it’s not.”

‘ _So much for befuddling Q_ ,’ Bond thought. Q continued.

“It was redacted from every file before I took over as Quartermaster. So how do you know my name?” Q pressed for an answer.

“Someone must have told me . . .”

Q blinked. He could feel the morphine pulling him under but he fought it. He needed to know if his dream was real. If Bond . . . no James wanted him for real.

“There was only one person who would have told you.” Q pushed.

Bond just stared at Q. He wasn’t sure how much the young man remembered but he wasn’t sure he was willing to let his emotions be exposed now or ever.

Q took a deep breath then closed his eyes for a moment to calm his heart.

“I fell for you the first time I ever saw you.” For a moment Q wasn’t sure he was the one speaking. He opened his eyes and looked up into Bond confused face. “And it wasn’t at the National Gallery.”

“When?” Bond asked. Waves of confusion and relief crashed into him.

“It was my first day working. Major Boothroyd walked me around and introduced me to the team. You came in . . . I don’t know why, but the Major told me your name. I fell in love with you the moment I saw you.”

Q wanted to hate himself for telling Bond everything. If it had been a dream instead of reality, then the man would walk away from Q and probably never speak to him again. Q looked up expectantly at Bond, wanting to know the truth and still afraid of it.

“It was the Major.” James said softly. It was obvious James was relieved to say it.

“When?”

“The first day you came to work here. I saw you and thought you were the most beautiful person I had ever seen.”

James brought his hand up and cupped the side of Q’s face. The young man leaned into the touch.

“Say my name, James.”

James leaned forward and brushed his lips against Q’s “Benjamin, I love you too.”

Q sighed against the pillow and let the morphine pulled down. He relaxed and let the warmth pull over him. He knew when he woke up, James would be there waiting for him.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments welcomed.


End file.
